Album Review — er, Warning, time. Rob Zombie – Mondo Sex Head. I just bought the two-album vinyl set. It starts off with a version of Thunder Kiss ’65 that sounds like my Microwave, blender, and Makita saw had a key party with with some cheap Mad Dog 20/20, and would only be fitting as a car commercial appealing to a trendier-than-thou dubstep crowd. Living Dead Girl had been replaced by a dancehall beat from “90s Classic Dance Hits”, and none of the actual original song even cared to join it. Then more dubstep, and more, and more. The version of “More Human Than Human” didn’t even include the chorus, and the guitars were absent on almost every track. Dragula sounded like a lost Enigma/Enya mashup, and I was expecting Kenny G or Zamfir and his amazing Pan Flutes to jump in at any point. It’s as if someone defanged and declawed Rob Zombie, curled his hair, and put a giant pink bow on top to make sure he never has the capacity to frighten our parents ever again. Pussy Liquor was tolerable at best, but entirely forgettable. At this point, I decided I would never even pollute my record player with the second disc. That’s $27.99 wasted. Don’t let this happen to you. I think we need to call an intervention with Mr. Zombie.